


Paint me a Cheeseburger

by natrice



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bookstore owner Dorian, F/M, Get Together, Humor, Medium Burn, Obgyn cassandra, Pregnancy, Sera is solas' assistant and hates every second of it, Solas Being Solas, businessman solas, elf racism, now with art, rich solas, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2018-07-26 14:01:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7576687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natrice/pseuds/natrice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas wants to ensure the baby is healthy and gets only the best. Lavellan just wants a cheeseburger.<br/>Dorian wants to make certain he gets the best seat to the ensuing shit show.</p><p>Also known as the pregnancy au that no one asked for but are getting anyways</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Melody Levellan groaned as she slammed the stack of books in her arms onto the pile of books that Dorian needed to shelve. Her phone was going off _again_ because surprise, surprise Solas had deemed yet another perfectly fine day care unworthy _again_. Redcliffe Day Care Center was officially out of the running because they dared to give the damn gremlins juice boxes with _high fructose corn syrup._

Dammnit, she should have known this would happen. Hell, If that bald headed micromanager had his way she’d probably be in some weird ass center run by vegans where he could control everything from her prenatal vitamins to the fucking humidity level. 

Ugh. She wouldn’t be this cranky about his weird personality disorder either if he didn’t keep conveniently appearing with some dumb healthy meal every damn time she was about to give into her cheeseburger cravings. _If she had to listen to one more lecture about how important getting the right nutrients for the baby-_

“Alright darling, once you’re done sulking we’ll close the store and go fetch some dinner. You obviously need junk food and now that I’m drinking for two...” Dorian’s drawl pulled Levellan out of her thoughts.

“Don’t you think it’s a little early? And we’ve still got all this shelving, not to mention the inventory check on-” 

Dorian poked her cheek with his finger. “Mel, c’mon. You getting knocked up gives _me_ an excuse to play hooky. You’re depriving me of my benefits. And we haven’t even introduced junior to the wondrous world of movie marathons. We’ll pick up whatever you feel like eating, start off the evening with Hard in Hightown, I’ll pretend to not want to vomit when you demand a foot rub-It’ll be great.”

Well...that _did_ sound pretty good. Maybe she could finally get that cheeseburger...

**BRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRR**

She glanced down at her phone. 

_Solas: I picked you up one of those kale spinach smoothies you like. I’ll be at the store in ten minutes._

Melody didn’t hold in her angry swear. Once he saw the text, Dorian didn’t hold in his laughter. “I give up. Go drink your gross smoothie with the guardian of your uterus.”

She sighed. “He’s unbelievable. I don’t know how he senses that I’m about to break _his_ pregnancy protocol.”

Dorian chuckled. “You think this is bad? Imagine how much worse it would be if he was the father.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! This chapter is nearly twice as long as the last one! Hope you like it!

**_Roughly Seven Months Earlier...._ **

 

The red head at the bar drunkenly slammed her glass down onto the counter. “Another!” she slurred. 

The bartender squinted at her. “I’m cutting you off. You want me to call someone for you?” It seemed like the elf had drunk half her weight in alcohol. Krem tried his best not to be judgey, but, like seriously girl. Get it together. 

The elf glared at him. “C’mon, man...’m jus tryin ta have funnnnn. sto’ bein’ a fun suckerrrrr.” 

Krem gave her a flat look as he set a glass of water in front of her. “Here,” he said in a monotone “it’s vodka.” 

A human sitting a few seats away wandered over and flicked the glass. “That’s good ol’ h2o my friend.” He leered at the plastered elf. “Now, you come with me and I’ll hook you up with the good stuff,” he said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

Krem sighed. He didn’t get paid enough for this. “Leave her drunk ass alone man. At this point she’s got more beer in her than bloo-”

She sloppily waved a hand at the bartender to silence him. “Shhhhhhhhhh....” She focused on the man wrapped around her. Nearly six feet tall and broad shouldered. He seemed to be a little too interested in her pointed ears, but whatever. It’s not like she had anything else to do tonight. As long as he didn’t try to literally stick his dick in her ear what did it matter? “Yo’re hot. le’s go have sex.” She stated. 

The stranger grinned and offered her his arm. “Happy to oblige, knifey.”

Krem spluttered. Was she seriously going home with this freak?! “Are you seriously going home with this freak?! Bad idea, hon. Let me call you a cab. You’ll thank me in the morning...well, maybe not the morning. You’re going to be so hungover.”

She ignored him and lifted her hands towards the man, demanding to be carried. “Ta’ke me away, roundey.” She deserved a little fun. She hadn’t had sex in weeks. She was practically squandering her youth, right? And it was just one night, after all. 

* * *

Melody groaned. This sucked. Every morning for nearly a week she had woken up with horrible nausea. It had become nearly routine to start the day on her knees in the bathroom, camped out next to the toilet. The toilet was her anchor, her friend, her god. 

Her phone rang, and she sloppily pressed accept. “Solaaasssss,” She whined, “Leave me aloneee. I’m still sickk. Go do your Very Important Work Stuff and quit bothering me.” 

The elf on the other end sighed. “It’s Saturday. and you’re still sick? Maybe you need antibiotics...Go to the doctor. There’s a clinic not too far from your apartment. I’ll send Sera to give you a ride.” She heard a shuffling noise. He was probably paging his poor assistant.

“Solas, leave Sera alone. You pay her to schedule meetings, not to chauffeur your sick friends around.” She paused. Ugh. Definitely gonna puke. 

“Melody?” Solas waited. When he heard her start retching he grimaced and went to grab his keys. He’d better deal with this himself. If Sera caught whatever Mel had his work life would be hell. Training new assistants was incredibly tedious. “I’m coming over. Put on some shoes, I’m taking you to the clinic.” 

Melody could hear the worry in his voice. Dammit...panicked Solas was so annoying. He got all dramatic, and suddenly a paper cut was equivalent to amputation. _Well, at least he isn’t trying to use the internet to diagnose me again. Last time that happened he thought I was either pregnant or full of brain tumors...Wait._ **Shit.** " 

“Um uh Solas hang on....Let me just...shitshitshitshitshit...stupid stupid stupid” Melody frantically ran to her calendar, nausea temporarily on hold. 

Solas froze halfway out the door. “Melody? What’s wrong?! Melody???” All he could hear was cursing and Melody counting.

Melody rested her head against the fridge. “Solas...”

Solas sprung into action, running towards his car, only to freeze once more as he heard a timid voice on the other end of the line.

“My period is three weeks late. Solas...I think I might be pregnant.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of how Melody and Solas met. Plus, Dagna cameo!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wonderful icecreamlover69 drew a beautiful Melody! It's at the end of the chapter! Thanks Kel!

Solas felt his heart skip a beat. _Melody....was...pregnant? How? She didn't even have a boyfriend...Or did she? Perhaps...no, no Melody would have told him if she had a boyfriend..._

His mind was in overdrive, thoughts racing and crashing into one another. He took a deep breath. She might not even be pregnant. Signs pointed to yes, but he wanted medical confirmation.

"Melody, I'm on my way. Call your...well, whoever it is you call for this, and see if you can get an appointment for an ultrasound." That was what people did, yes? He sighed. He was clueless about this.

Melody was silent on the other end of the line.

Solas frantically started his car. "Melody?? Melody are you there?"

He heard sniffling, and a weak voice. "y-yeah. I'm here. I'll m-make the appointment."

Solas let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "I'll be there soon. It's going to be okay, Melody."

* * *

It was definitely not going to be okay. The staff at this hospital were all idiots. He hated coming here. It smelled like old people and even if there was the odd dwarf nurse, the doctors were all humans. Haven Memorial was Melody's hospital of choice, though, so here they were.

Solas sniffed. Melody was handing a nurse some paperwork she had to fill out, and the young nurse appeared to be trying her best to touch everything Mel had as little as possible. "Remind me again why you chose this place?"

Melody kicked him. She was still freaking out, but being here had calmed her down some. "For awhile in high school I thought I wanted to be a doctor. I shadowed a few doctors here, and well, it's familiar."

Solas hummed. "What made you change your mind?"

She frowned. "About being a doctor? Well, I knew I couldn't make it."

Solas raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Why's that?"

"When I came here there was only one elf doctor. I mostly shadowed him, and I saw the way he was treated. Other doctors, nurses, patients... He was always being looked down on, and a couple times humans would request a 'real' doctor. I knew I couldn't deal with that, so english major it was."

He frowned. This wasn't improving his opinion of this hospital.

Melody nudged him. "Hey, perk up. It's not all bad. After all, If I wasn't an english major I wouldn't have met you."

Solas felt a small smile creep up onto his face. "That's true. I suppose you wouldn't have minored in history if you were pre-med. You never would have needed that book."

* * *

_Solas strolled through the library, towards the front desk. The book on ancient elvish relations with dwarfs he had requested was due back into the library today. He'd been so excited when he discovered the library had a copy, and waiting the two weeks until it was returned had felt like torture. But, at last, it would be his. He couldn't help the big grin that took over his face as he reached the desk._

"Did they return it yet? The Maverick tome on Dwarfs and-"

The librarian smiled. "Yes dear, I've got it right back here. No need to point it out, you've certainly been in here bothering me about it enough that it's ingrained in my mind forever."

Solas laughed. He knew he had gotten on her nerves coming in here twice a day to see if it had been returned early, but he couldn't help himself. He was a poor grad student who couldn't afford to buy books for pleasure reading any more, and that book had been on the top of his list for some time now. "Sorry Mabel, but I'm just so excited. It's such an uncommon tome."

She rolled her eyes fondly at him. "Believe me, I know. It's required reading for some extra credit assignment in Blackwall's class, and once a semester those poor kids come running in here to try and nab it." She chuckled. "Watch yourself Solas; no doubt you're on at least a dozen hit lists right now. Blackwall's paper is due next week, and you requested it before most of the young'ins could get here. The kid who had it before you told me he slipped out of Blackwall's class to come down here as soon as Blackwall announced it, never mind that there was still forty minutes left in the block."

Solas let out a sigh of relief. He'd nearly gone mad waiting this long, and apparently had barely escaped an even longer sentence. Well, alls well that ends well. He moved to take the book from the librarian, but she didn't let go yet.

"Wait a sec, Solas. I wasn't joking. Blackwall's class is hard as rock, and some of those kids will do anything to get their hands on this." Her voice dropped down to a whisper. "There's a maid with red hair that I had to pry off the request list. Brown eyes, a little short. Watch for her; she seemed the most determined out of the lot, and fights have broken out over this book in the past."

Solas grimaced. "If it's that popular, why doesn't the library carry more copies?"

Mabel actually looked mad. "It's that loon, Blackwall. Thinks it's funny to watch all his students duke it out. He cozied up to Josephine and then made sure she didn't order any other copies. I've fought her on it, but she's the head librarian and there's not much I can do. Anyways, watch yourself Solas. Remember, red hair, brown eyes."

Solas held in the eye roll. He could handle a few underclassmen. "Thanks, Mabel. I appreciate it."

When he made it outside, however, he found the librarians warning to be true. He had hardly made it three steps out the door when he heard what could only be described as a war cry. He looked up in the direction of the sound, only to see a young elf flying towards him from above. He quickly sidestepped before running for it. Had she been waiting for him in the trees this whole time? He turned his head back at a cry of pain, seeing the elf collapsed on the concrete. With him moving out of the way, she had landed on the hard ground, rather than on him. He hastened over to her.

"Miss? Are you alright?" The girl didn't respond. She appeared to be unconscious. He crouched down next to her, but as he went to gently nudge her shoulder, her eyes snapped open and she quickly snatched the book before sprinting away.

"WAIT!" He screamed, running after her. The book was checked out on his card! Even if nothing happened to it, he wouldn't be able to renew it when, or if, really, he got it back from the thief, what with that apparently very long waiting list. "I NEED THAT BOOK!"

The redhead was fast, but he was gaining on her. Eventually, he got close enough to reach out and firmly grab her sleeve. He pulled her to a stop, panting. She tried to slither out of his grip, but he only tightened it. "Are you crazy?!" He was pissed. "What's wrong with you?? We both could have been hurt!"

She shouted back at him. "You don't understand! I NEED this book. Without the extra credit, I won't pass the class!" She grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer. "I can NOT suffer through Blackwall AGAIN!"

Solas glared at her. "It's under my card, and I'm going to read it. It's not my fault if you didn't do your homework." He pulled it from her grasp. She was strong, considering her stature, but he outweighed her. "Be happy I'm not pressing charges." As he stormed off, he couldn't help but look back. The elf was staring at him with a look of horror on her face. He bit his lip and looked away. Whatever, it wasn't his responsibility. And she had attacked him! He shouldn't pity her. There was no reason to. But still...it wasn't like he couldn't read the book at a later date..he had waited this long. He turned back to her.

"Fine," He called to her, "But give me your number. I want this back as soon as you're done with it." He was taken aback as her face lit up. He supposed she was...attractive, for a crazy tree climbing book thief.

She ran to cross the distance to him, pulling a pen out of her pocket. She frowned to herself. No paper. Before he realized what she was doing, she had taken the book and ripped a section of paper off the copyright page to write her number on. "Here we go..." she muttered.

Solas saw red. The audacity! This woman! After all that..! He reached to grab the book back, but she misinterpreted and put the paper in his hand instead. He was once more shocked into silence by the smile she gave him.

"Thanks man. Text me your number later, I gotta go get started in this if I'm gonna finish the paper in time."

He stared after her as she walked off. This was the probably the weirdest encounter he'd had at this school. He sighed, pulling out his phone. He needed to ensure the safety of that tome.

* * *

Solas grinned back at Melody. "You drove me mad with worry. I was so afraid you were going to ruin that poor book."

"Well, you drove me just plain mad. You kept texting me, demanding pictures of the book to make sure I hadn't thrown it in a fire. I barely finished my paper in time!"

Solas scoffed. "And how bad that would have been! You hustled me! You said you were going to have to repeat the class; you had an A- before the extra credit!"

Melody smiled at the memory. "I didn't want to ruin my 4.0! Now that I think about it, I bet someone _did_ fail the class because I had the book. Oh well, it worked out for us, didn't it?"

The smile returned to his face. It certainly had. The two had started hanging out because Solas demanded to see the tome in person as well. As far as Melody knew, he was simply that obsessed. Which was partially true, he supposed, but he had secretly seen the excuse to get closer to the pretty girl. He had nearly asked her out one day in the library, but right before he had her then boyfriend had appeared. After that, they never seemed to be single at the same time for a few years, and although they had been for a while now he had never gotten up the courage. Melody was a dear friend, admittedly his best friend, and he couldn't find it in himself to risk that.

He patted her on the shoulder. "I suppose it did; I'm stuck with you now, aren't I?"

She snorted, and opened her mouth to fire back a retort when a nurse called her name.

"Melody Lavellan?"

Melody and Solas started towards the nurse.

"Yep, that's me." The nerves had returned to her, and she caught herself laying her arm over her stomach.

The nurse smiled at her. "I'm Nurse Dagna. If you'll follow me, Dr.Pentaghast will see you now."

Solas squeezed her shoulder. "Do you want me to accompany you?"

Melody smiled gratefully up at him. "Please."

The nurse turned her smile towards him. "Are you the father? You make a lovely couple if you don't mind me saying."

Melody felt her face turn red. "O-oh no, um he isn't. The father, that is. Nope, he is definitely not the father."

Dagna turned just as red "Oh, I'm um so sorry. Not that he isn't the father, just um that you know...um, If you'll follow me Dr.Pentaghast will, um, see you, uh she'll uh do an ultrasound, uh...It'll feel cold and uh..." She awkwardly trailed off as she turned and walked through a set of doors into a hallway.

Solas sighed. He _really_ hated this hospital.

* * *

Here's the drawing of Melody!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what happens during pregnancy, and Google/Grey's anatomy can only teach so much! Sorry about any inaccuracies!

Dagna led them into the room where Dr.Pentaghast sat with a laptop. The doctor continued typing something into her computer for a few moments, before finally turning to Melody and Solas, although she barely looked at them.

"If you'll lay down here, Miss, we can get started." Dr.Pentaghast said smoothly, slipping on a pair of gloves before reaching for a tube next to her. "Please pull your shirt up; I'll need to apply the gel to your abdomen."

Melody complied, both appreciative and annoyed by the doctor's professional tone; although she wasn't being snippy with Melody she didn't seem to really like her, and Melody couldn't help but wonder if it was due to her race. She was a bit embarrassed about exposing her stomach to Solas, but the nerves overshadowed it. When Dr.Pentaghast saw her flat stomach, however, she frowned. 

"Dagna," she began, raising an eyebrow, "How far along did you say the patient is?"

Dagna glanced down at her form. "It doesn't say," she replied hesitantly.

Melody frowned. "At most I'm about 6 Weeks," 

Dr.Pentaghast swore. "Maker...I'm so sorry about this. For some reason you were scheduled for an ultrasound. That's something we do quite a bit later in the pregnancy." She stood, grabbed a cup from a cabinet, and handed it to Melody.

"Here," she said bluntly, "Pee in this cup. We'll call you in about a week with the results."

* * *

 

Melody frowned at the passenger side window. Ugh...She couldn't believe she'd have to wait at least another week to find out if she was pregnant. She'd barely survived one morning! At least if she knew she could prepare. But this? This sucked.

Solas glanced towards her from behind the wheel. "I don't think the window will respond to your pouting. Do you want to talk about what's upsetting you?" 

Melody chewed on her bottom lip. "I thought I'd get to find out...if I was, you know...and now I have to wait a whole week." Her voice broke. "Solas, I need to know. I can't do this."

Solas was silent until he pulled his car into a pharmacy parking lot. "Wait here," he instructed her before getting out of the car, "I'll be right back." 

Melody groaned and threw her head back against the seat. Ugh. What was he doing? She got her answer a few minutes later when he returned with a plastic bag. 

"Here," he said, sliding back inside the car before handing her the bag, "Although they aren't 100% accurate, It'll give you some idea. I suppose we should have started with these; my apologies. I didn't realize we'd have to wait for the results."

A small smile crawled onto Melody's face as she peeked inside the bag. She let out a startled laugh; it looked as though he had bought out the store's supply of pregnancy tests. "Solas... Thank you." 

He hummed in response. "It was no trouble." 

* * *

 

What they didn't realize until they got back to Melody's apartment, however, was that in order to actually take all the tests, Melody would have to individually pee on every single stick. She ended up only taking three, and Solas came into the bathroom when she had finished to wait on the results with her. 

She sighed as she placed her head in her hands. Solas cleared his throat, and she swiveled around in her perch on the side of the tub to look at him. "Yes?"

He hesitated, pausing to consider his words. "While we were caught up in all of...this," he said, waving his hands towards the tests on the counter, "I never actually got to ask you...about, well that is..."

Melody offered him a weak smile. "You mean how I actually had the sex that might have knocked me up?"

He laughed. "Well, yes. You hadn't said anything to me about dating anyone, and considering we spend so much time together I figured it would have come up at some point..."

Melody broadened her smile. "Solas, you're my best friend. Of course I'd tell you if I was dating someone...this wasn't anything like that. I got wasted and picked up a stranger in the bar next to my work." She chuckled. "I didn't think you'd need or want to know about my drunken antics." 

Solas stiffened, and began talking in a low voice. "You said you were drunk. This... _man, he didn't-"_

"Maker, Solas, no! I wasn't blackout drunk. The bartender was being a bit of a dick and cut me off before I could get there. The guy wasn't husband material, bit of a creep, really, but he didn't make me do anything I didn't want to."

Solas relaxed. "Good...so tell me, what is this man you've courted like?"

She grinned. "Well, he does this thing with his tongue-"

Solas cut her off, sounding scandalized. "Melody Lavellan! I think we both know that wasn't what I meant."

Her laughter rang out in the small room. "Okay, okay...well, he's definitely a party boy. I could tell he was one of those cocky trust fund guys. He didn't seem too awful, although he seemed a little too into my ears... Now that I think about it, I  _think_ I might have his number written down somewhere..."

Solas groaned. "Melody, I don't need to hear about your ear fetish, that's just rude after I told you not to-"

Melody snorted. "Geez Solas. No, I didn't mean we had kinky ear sex; he's one of those humans that think elves are some kind of exotic variety of humans-"

Solas looked positively heartbroken. "Melody, he's human?! Then that would mean the baby is..."

Melody continued in a self deprecating tone. "Yeah, I know. Only thing worse than being a single mom is being a single mom of a half breed. Then you're a slut and a freak, right?" She sighed. "I'm hoping if I am preggers it comes out looking more one race than the other. If not I guess I could always pay a human hooker to pretend to be the dad. Or I guess  _I_ could pretend to be a hooker... Everyone likes the old poor elf down on her luck is forced into prostitution story, right?"

Solas sighed, and she changed her train of thought. "Well, I guess if these tests come back positive I'll track down that number and ring him up. I wasn't really sober enough to judge if he was father material, and he seemed pretty far down the drain too."

The timer went off, and both Solas and Melody jumped up to look at the tests.Solas's breath caught. All three had a bright blue positive sign.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler Alert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Abortion is talked about pretty extensively in this chapter; please don't be offended. Every situation is different, and the thoughts expressed here are Melody's, not my own. Anyways, Enjoy!

"Melody? Melody, it's going to be all right." Solas wrapped his arms around his friend, who had violently thrown her head into her hands. "You're going to get through this."

Melody groaned into her hands.  _This sucked_.  _This sucked bad._ She was vaguely aware of Solas flailing next to her, chucking cliche phrases at her with his usual can do attitude. She tried her best to ignore him, deciding on her next course of action. Dear Fen'henral, when her mother finds out she'll flip...When  _everyone_ finds out, actually, they'll flip. Forget actually growing the kid, she didn't think she'd even have enough energy to deal with the shame of it all. And how was she supposed to tell whatever-the-hell-his-name-is about this?  _Hey, what's up? Remember me, the drunken one night stand from weeks ago? Well, guess what, funny story really, but anyways congrats! You've now got your very own baby mama!_ Oh shit, she was a baby mama now, wasn't she? Jeez, talk about trashy. She could see it now, her downward spiral into perpetuating elven stereotypes her ancestors had fought to overcome. Next thing you know she'll be running around the woods barefoot, hugging unicorns and dressing her baby in leaves...right...her  _baby._ Her  _half blood, bastard, result of a one night stand **baby.**_ That thing that was currently growing. Inside her. Right now. That she'd totally come up with a plan of action for if Solas would just shut up so she could think straight.

She sighed, lifted her head out of her hands, and offered Solas a weak smile. "Thanks. You've been a lot of help, but...I think I need to be alone right now." She sighed, again. She waved her hand towards her abdomen. "I've gotta figure out what the best course of action will be, and, well...I think that's something I need to do on my own. To make sure it's right for me, ya know?"

Solas smiled back, although he seemed sad. "Of course, Melody. I know my way out. I wish you the best of luck." He stood, and, after dusting off his black pants, left the room. A few moments later, when she heard the click of the door shutting, Melody sighed in relief.

 _Right...First things first, time to research._ She wandered into her living room and grabbed her laptop off the coffee table.

She paused, frustrated.  _What the hell am I supposed to do? Google it?_

She sighed, pulled up her web browser, and typed in 'What to do when you find out you're pregnant.' 

_Sweet...a Wikihow. With Pictures! Oh...oh gross. They really shouldn't have included pictures._

She clicked off the page, searching instead 'Options for pregnant women, six weeks.' She read through several of the pages that came up, subconsciously resting her left arm across her stomach. She read through medical websites, news articles, and blogs, all documenting the horrible things that had happened to different women's bodies. She finally came across, and spent nearly twenty minutes on, the blog of an elf maid that was also pregnant with a mixed race child, only this one qunari. 

The woman had documented how all of her friends had alienated her after discovering the child was mixed; how the father had denied it, even after a paternity test contradicted him. How the father had fought her every step of the way, trying to force her to get an abortion, refusing to pay child support, slandering her to all their mutual contacts.

How the woman ended up having to move back in with her parents, unable to pay rent because her pregnancy prevented her from working toward the end. How everything in her life seemed to go great after that, her perfect parents, so unlike Melody's own mother, delighted to have grandchildren; supporting her with an unconditional love Melody knew her own mother would never provide.

And, finally, how the tiny bundle she had held in her arms after nearly nine months of torture, the loss of her friends, and with a life of judgment to look forward to, made it all worth it with his tiny, tiny horns and slightly pointed ears.

The story seemed too familiar to Melody's own life- only she didn't have parents like that. And she didn't think she was capable of loving  _anyone_ that much. Hell, she wasn't prepared to be a parent, and what if the father wasn't ready either? She certainly wasn't prepared to be a single parent. Her own mom had raised her on her own for awhile, after Melody's dad had died and before her mom had remarried. She knew firsthand how an unloved child felt; her mother hadn't hidden the annoyance she felt towards Melody during those years or after. What if she, too, became like her mom- bitter and angry about the hard life her child had forced her into? It didn't seem right to bring a child into that kind of existence, and Melody found herself lifting her arm from her stomach and opening a new tab, once more returning to the search engine.

Only this time, she timidly typed 'Fereldan Abortion Clinics' into the text box, her fingers shaking. No one had to know. The clinics didn't publicize abortions or anything, and she hadn't received the call confirming she was pregnant, so even Solas didn't know for sure. When he asked, she could just say the tests were false positive; a hormone imbalance.

No one _ever_ had to know.

* * *

 

Melody dialed the number she found online; Fereldan Private Health seemed to be exactly what she needed. She'd looked into abortions more extensively, and knew to be prepared to be questioned by the staff.

So it was very surprising when the woman on the other end seemed overly cheerful about her terminating her pregnancy. 

Melody was greeted by a bright and perky voice; "Fereldan Private Health, how may I help you today?"

Despite being alone in her house, Melody caught herself whispering. "I need a, uh, I need to schedule an a-a-abortion."

The woman's tone changed to sympathetic, rather than the judging anger Melody had braced herself for. "Alright sweetie, let me just see what openings we have. Do you have a specific day in mind?"

"No, just as soon as possible...Whenever the next opening is." 

The woman hummed. "Hmmmm, give me just one second-Ah, great! There's actually an opening tomorrow at 2:30! Does that work for you?"

Melody frowned at the bubbly tone the woman had returned to, her own words sounding brisk and cold. "Yes, yes, that's fine."

"Alllright! Well, you'll need someone to drive you home, and there'll be some pain, but we can give you a prescription for that. You'll want to take some time off of school or work, and if you're under eighteen we'll need parental consent. I'll need your name and a number to contact you at before I can make an appointment for you, and you'll have to fill out an emergency contact form when you come in-Do you have any questions for me?"

Melody felt her mouth open and close soundlessly. This was all so...easy.  _She_ had expected to be the one being questioned, to be yelled at for trying to kill her child. But then again...this was probably just a regular business day to the woman. She doubted she even actually cared about what Melody was going through; to her, Melody was just another troubled woman in a sea of clients. Melody was going to willingly have someone  _kill_ her child...she was going to  _pay_ someone to do it. And this-this  _woman_ wasn't even fazed. Had she had an abortion as well? Did she understand what Melody was going through? Was she secretly hiding her disgust, waiting for Mel to hang up so she could loudly exclaim to the office that another child killer was on her way tomorrow? Or did she...simply not care?

Melody frowned, and then she laughed. Why was she so worried about what this stranger on the other end of the line thought? She doubted she'd ever see her after tomorrow, and it's not like her input really mattered. In fact...it's not like anyone's input really mattered. This was  _her_ body,  _her_ baby, and  _her_ life, damnit!  _She_ was the one in charge here, not the woman on the other end, not her friends, and sure as hell not her mother! 

She was going to do this, and she was going to do this her way. The way her mother treated her had nothing to do with how she'd raise her own children- she wasn't bound by any contracts or curses.

She hung up the phone and threw it down onto the couch next to her, before opening a new tab on her computer. Melody was going to be a fantastic mother- She was going to actually love the kid, not overcompensate for her lack of love by being a disapproving helicopter like her own mother. She was going to-going to...ugh. Shit. She was going to get to the bathroom as fast as possible, because she totally had to puke again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not too happy about this chapter; Hope you enjoyed it though! Sorry about my absence; I've been hanging out with friends before everyone scatters bc college. I'm hoping to update more though.
> 
> ............................................................................................................................................................................................
> 
> I have grey-blue eyeus that change coluor and freckles and pale skin that i put white fondation on. Ive got pointy ears (im an elf)  
> and i wear lose cloths bcuz i dress comfy bcuz idc wat those dum humans tink (I H8 HUMANS) I shave my head bc I listen to REAL music from b4 u were born hUMAN.  
> Mah name is Ebony Solas Dread Wolf Way xD  
> ........................................................................................................................................................................  
> Kill me


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this update took forever, sorry! Friends were leaving soon so we were hanging out 24/7. They gone now tho, so more frequent updates now! Even have the next chapter written already.

The bell hanging on the bookstore's door rang as Melody entered. "Dorian," She called, "I'm here!" 

She faintly heard the store owner sarcastically call back from the other end of the store, "Congratulations, here!"

Melody rolled her eyes. Dorian may laugh at her, but he didn't have a computer system to clock in, and she really liked getting paid. She was pretty sure that he'd just ask her what time she came in when he eventually noticed her, but after reading about the pregnant girl who couldn't pay rent last night, it was really weighing on her mind. Maybe she was just paranoid, but whatever. She grabbed the shelving cart, and started loading it up with the new inventory sitting on the register's counter in cardboard boxes.

When he'd hired her, Dorian had given her a crude hand drawn map of Skyhold, ordering her to memorize it since shelving would mainly be done by her. The map was nearly impossible to decipher, but when she'd complained to him about it, he actually seemed offended. Something about how his 'fine art' was widely praised by his family; clearly he'd been an overpraised and spoiled child. 

She'd ended up drawing out her own map, and even though she pretty much knew the store front to back she still kept it taped to the shelving cart; on one memorable occasion she'd actually caught Dorian peeking at it when a huge shipment of books forced him to help shelve. Of course, he'd denied using it as a reference, instead swearing he'd only been amazed by how such an uppity art critic could create such terrible illustrations.

Needless to say, their relationship had started out rocky, but she'd learned over time that Dorian's sarcasm was his way of showing his affection. 

She paused as the shelving brought her near his office- Should she tell him? He was probably one of the most important people in her life, but what if he insisted she stop working? She wouldn't feel right getting paid leave; although the store had a cult following it wasn't necessarily making the kind of money a larger franchise would. There was a reason Melody was Dorian's only employee, and she wouldn't punish him because of  _her_ uterus. Obviously she'd have to tell him eventually, and it should probably be today, but...well, maybe later. She'd tell him, just...later.

* * *

 

Later ended up being a bit later than expected. Nearly a month had passed, and although she wasn't showing all that much yet, Cassandra had warned her that a few weeks from now there would be a drastic change in her pant size. As it was now, her belly was visible, but she tended to wear looser clothing anyways, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Every once in awhile the odd old woman at the grocery store would deduce she was pregnant, and ooo and ahh over her in the produce aisle. And what was up with the need to rub her stomach? It's not like the baby was writing braille to communicate with strangers from inside her.

She sighed. If she waited any longer to tell Dorian he'd probably figure it out on his own, and she didn't want to deal with the hurt he'd feel from her keeping it from him.

She wandered over to the register. "Dorian?"

He hummed, not looking up from the book he was skimming. "Yes?"

She hesitated. "I, uh...I need to tell you something."

He casually turned the page. "Yes, yes, what is it?"

Melody swallowed. "I'm..." She grit her teeth. "Pregnant." She braced herself, ready for the inevitable freak out, but it never came.

Dorian barely batted an eye. "Oh, good."

Melody felt a little offended. Here was the man she was weighing against Solas for the position of Godfather, and he didn't even care? She huffed.

Dorian let a small smile bloom onto his face. "I thought you were just getting fat."

What the hell? All that worrying and he didn't...She frowned, looking down and poking at her stomach through her shirt. Solas had assured her she looked great, but he had also been reminding her to rub cocoa butter on her stomach to avoid stretch marks nearly daily. Maybe she...

Dorian's laughter drew her out of her worrying. He was nearly doubled over the counter, eyes watering. "Melody...I know. I've known for weeks. Sera let it slip one day when she came in here, buying up most of our childcare books." He wiped his eyes before tapping his now closed book against the counter, drawing her eyes to it.

What to Expect when Your Wife is Expecting By Varric Tethras

She frowned at it, confused. She glanced up at him, caught off guard by his shit eating grin.

"Melody...you didn't really think I wouldn't pick up some literature on the subject when my best friend is pregnant?"

Melody was overjoyed...and mad...and relieved...and mad...and...

Dorian frowned. "Oh no, don't start that teary buisness-"

But it was too late.

Tears running down her face, Melody grabbed the book and hit him on the shoulder with it. Hard. 

"I love you, you _complete and utter ass!"_   

Dorian shrieked. "Ow! What the fu-" 

Melody threw her arms around him, pulling him down to her height and into the counter.  _"I hate you,"_ She sobbed into his shoulder,  _"BE THE MAKER DAMN GODFATHER YOU TEVINTER BASTARD,"_

Dorian awkwardly patted her back, grimacing from the pain of the counter digging into his skin. "I suppose, if you insist."

* * *

 

Solas gazed out the window, frowning. He pressed the intercom button on his desk. "Sera?"

Sera jumped when she heard the line ring, before turning to gaze at it sullenly. 

_I need this job, I need this job, I need this_

She picked up the phone. "Yeah, boss?"

Solas started firing quick instructions at her, barely giving her time to write them down.

"Melody should be running low on Cocoa Butter. Go pick some up, use my card. Make sure it's organic, and that you get the one with the white lid, brown container. While you're there, pick up some groceries for her from the list of approved foods Dr.Phentaghast gave us. She'll probably need to start wearing maternal clothes, so grab some of those in her size. Make sure they're either samite or cotton; no velveteen. Also, she's going to need to have a baby shower soon, so start planning. We're going to want to wait until after the baby's sex has become apparent, so buy both blue and pink decorations. Entertainment needs to be scheduled in advance, so pick a day...hmmm, preferably in about three months-"

Sera looked longingly out the window.  _Would I be injured enough to stay in the hospital until the gremlin was born if I jumped?_


	7. Chapter 7

_BRING BRING BRING BUH DUH DUH_

Melody sloppily tried to slap the alarm on her phone off, instead sending it flying off the nightstand and onto the floor.

Ugh. Mornings. She blindly reached over the side of her bed, trying to grab the phone without actually getting up. Her hand caught on a piece of paper instead of her phone, and she pulled it up after finally shutting off the damn alarm. She glanced at it, expecting it to be another old tootsie roll wrapper from Halloween. Instead, she was greeted by seven numbers, followed by a name and a smiley face.

Oh. Right.  _That_ was where the one night stand's number had ended up.

Well. She glanced down at her growing stomach. It had been about four and a half months since she'd come home with that guy, and true to Cassandra's word, she'd ballooned up. She'd honestly been pushing the fact that it takes two to tango well out of her mind. Between going up in pant sizes, telling Dorian, and being mother henned by Solas, ignoring that the baby had another half of it's genes that didn't come from her had been relatively easy. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do about the father. He hadn't seemed like the best guy at the time, but then again, she probably didn't either.

She frowned, considering. Well...She supposed that if she were like a seahorse or something and knocked a guy up she'd want to know about it. The whole miracle of life thing, or whatever. She poked at the number, then traced the name under it. Should she call? Or should she just leave it up to fate? Ah, fuck it. That might not even be the right number. If the shem was meant to know then he'd...mystically find out? Ugh. This was dumb. What if he was actually a cool guy? What if he was her damn soulmate or some stupid shit like that? 

She cringed at that embarrassingly dumb thought. Clearly her life was not a trashy romance novel, so she should stop that line of thinking right there. He was probably just a regular guy...She picked up her phone, quickly dialing the number. 

A voice rough from sleep picked up. "he'llo?" 

She glanced at the time. Shit! She'd forgotten she wakes up earlier than a lot of people. The voice on the other end continued.

"Who is this?"

Shit! She'd waited too long to respond. Now she was just a creepy phone call. The voice sounded more alert but annoyed now when it carried on.

"Hello? What is this about?"

She frantically brought her phone down and quickly hung up without saying anything. Shit, Shit, Shit. Why was she so stupid? She threw her phone across the room. Was there a wall nearby for her to bang her head against? She was so STUPID. The phone buzzed at her from across the room. Makers Breathe! Oh no, don't let it be...She rushed over and grabbed it, seeing it was the same number she'd just typed in. What was she supposed to do? Answer it? Don't answer it?? There was no way she was going to answer it. She quickly tapped the screen and sighed when the ring stopped. Whew...What a story that would-

"Hello? You just called me?"

Shit. She must have pressed accept on accident. She raised the phone up to her ear.

"Y-yes. Hello. You probably don't remember me, we met-"

The voice on the other end cut her off, sounding excited. "No, I remember! The redheaded elf from the bar, right? Melody?"

She sighed in relief. "Yeah, that's me. I know it's been awhile but I wanted to talk to yo-"

"No, no that's fine! Don't worry about it! Did you want to meet up? I'm busy later in the day but I'm free right now if you wanted to go to breakfast."

Food. Food is good. "Um, sure, but you should really know that-"

The voice cut her off again, not seeming to be paying much attention. "Wanna meet at the Haven Cafe in about an hour? They should be open..."

She frowned. "Um, okay, that sound's good. I'll see you then?"

"Yeah! See you!"

"Wait, I need to tell you-" She was cut off again, this time by the beep of the phone being hung up. Ugh. Well, it was probably better to tell him in person. 

Melody stood, walking towards her closet. What did you wear to meet your baby daddy?

* * *

 Melody nervously entered the cafe. She'd decided on a cute maxi dress that didn't really serve to hide her pregnancy. She scanned the tables, seeing that although there were a few people in the restaurant,  _he_ wasn't there yet. She quickly ordered a bagel before sitting down at an empty table near the door. 

A few minutes later, she heard the door open and saw  _him_. She smiled nervously and started to stand but he quickly motioned for her to sit back down before pausing at her table. 

"I'm just gonna order some coffee before we talk, seeing as  _someone_ likes to get up at an ungodly hour," He teased, before heading over to the register.

Right. She remembered him being funny...He was pretty average, looks wise. Brown hair, brown eyes, clean shaven. He was wearing a button up and a tie, so she assumed he was headed to work after this. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, trying to decide how to tell him. Best to start with it, probably. But when he returned with his coffee, she found herself tongue tied, simply letting him ramble on.

"So I gotta tell ya, I didn't expect you to call. I mean, I'm glad you did, obviously, but it's been a few months, I think. What did make you call?"

She looked down at the table, quietly saying it.

"Sorry, what? Didn't really hear yo-"

This time, it was Melody who interrupted. "I said, I'm, uh pregnant." She quickly looked away before looking back at him. His mouth was still open, and he looked absolutely  _wrecked._

His face flushed red, and he ran his hand through his hair, resting it on top of his head. "A-and It's, um, you-you _think_ it's, well....mine?"

She gave him a soft smile. "You were the only one I've slept with in forever, so well, yes." She coughed. "We can, um, get a paternity test if you'd like, but..."

He lowered his hand, before resting his head on the table. "Yeah," he said, muffled, "I'd like that."

Well...At least he was polite.

Melody smiled. She'd felt just like him when she found out. "Are you okay?"

He groaned. "My father is going to  _kill_ me."

And, apparently, feeling exactly like she had.

"I know it's a lot to take in, I haven't even told my own mother, but hopefully he'll understand. I mean, it's pretty bad, but it's not uncommon, and it's not like I'm expecting you to marry me-" She stopped talking at the pained look he gave her.

His gaze darted up to her ears, and she flushed. He seemed pretty into her elvishness when he was drunk, but-

He groaned, putting his head in his hands. "I knocked up a knife-ear, and now she's talking marriage at me."

Melody bristled. "Hey, I know you're freaking out, but can you at least keep the slurs to yourself?"

He glared at her. "Why? I'm sure I'm just a shem to you, rabbit. We may as well stop kidding ourselves and be honest. A kinky hook up is one thing, but raising a kid? Never gonna work out." He paused, glancing down to where her stomach was hidden beneath the table. "It isn't too late to get rid of it, right?"

Melody felt her face go red hot, and stood. "I'm keeping 'it.' Oh, and don't worry about dealing with the _rabbit._  The only regret I have about this kid is that it's half  _you._ "

The other patrons abruptly stopped talking, focusing on the argument playing out in front of them.

He stood as well, raising his voice. "Now hold on, I have rights you know! You can't just have this  _thing_ without my permission!" He grinned darkly. "Like you said, it's half me."

Melody gave him her darkest glare, and answered in her coldest voice. "I'm the  _mother._ I have  _all_ the rights. Any  _limited_ rights you have are so small, they don't compare to my pinky." She turned to leave before whipping around to face him. "Just like your  _dick."_

As she went out the door, Melody could hear the laughter erupting from the cafe as someone called out "You totally just got  _slayed_ , my friend."  
 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started school today! Go me!

Melody headed into work that night angry. She didn't bother calling out to Dorian, wanting to be alone more than anything.  _What an asshole!_ How dare he? Her hand came up to rest on her stomach, and she gave it a quick pat. "Sorry little guy," she muttered "you didn't really luck out in the father department." 

She jumped at a crashing sound nearby. She turned towards it, only to see Dorian appear from behind the shelf next to her, grinning broadly.

"So the little tyke's a boy, huh? I knew it! Oh, I'm going to have  _so_ much fun babysitting him. This is going to be the most well dressed infant on this side of Thedas, Mel!"

Melody blinked, bad mood forgotten. "I don't know the sex yet, Dorian. Cassandra wants to wait until five months."

Dorian sighed, deflated. "Oh, I see...well, let's hope it's not a girl-with your fashion taste being what it is-" 

Melody smacked him. "Oh, shut up. We can't all be divas."

He gasped. "Me, a diva? Never!" He fanned the air in front of his face. "Such slander!" 

She snorted, heading towards the shelving cart, only to be grabbed by Dorian. 

"We're playing hooky today!"

Melody stared at him suspiciously. "What kind of illegal thing do you want to drag your pregnant employee to now?"

Dorian smiled. "Nothing illegal! I wanna go to the bar next door."

She frowned at him, forcefully pointing at her extended stomach.

"We're not going there to drink, Mel, we're going for _reconnaissance_."

She squinted at him. "Reconnaissance? What are-Oh." She grinned teasingly. "You heard that the owner's hot, didn't you?"

Dorian scoffed. "Of course not, I simply want to-"

"Ride the bull?" She asked innocently.

He flushed. "Oh, whatever!" He snapped "If you must know, yes. I want to ogle the owner."

She smiled. "Ha. Knew it!" She grabbed his arm. "Lock up, and we'll go."

* * *

 

When she agreed to go, Melody hadn't thought about how she'd be received. Dorian was having a fun enough time, finally chatting up Iron Bull after what felt like forever of him simply staring. She, however, was enduring the judgey glares of the majority of the bars patrons, despite just drinking soda. She talked to Krem for awhile, but when the dark atmosphere started feeling like too much she excused herself. She thought about telling Dorian she was heading back to Skyhold, but he was clearly getting somewhere with the qunari, and he'd probably feel obligated to walk her over. 

She used her key to let herself into Skyhold, figuring that she should get some work done. Dorian may like playing hooky in theory, but she knew they'd pay for it later when they were overwhelmed with inventory. She grabbed the shelving cart, and set to work. She had worked her way through most of the cart when she found one she'd have to grab the ladder for.

Dragging it over was a bit more work now, but she could handle it. Pregnant didn't equate invalid. She clambered up, and was in the process of putting the book on the shelf when she was startled by the sound of Dorian and Bull loudly entering the shop. She turned towards them to wave hello when her foot slipped. 

She barely had time to cry out before she hit the ground, flat on her back. Ow. She groaned, disoriented. She looked up at the frantic yelling of the two men, who were arguing about how best to help.

"We have to take her to the hospital, she's pregnant!"

"No, we shouldn't move her! Call an ambulance!"

"That'll take too long!"

"Well then what're we supposed to do?!"

" How the hell would I know? Do I look like I'm pregnant?"

"Well actually-"

In the midst of their arguing, Krem wandered into the shop. "Hey boss, I locked up, you want me to-" The man frowned, glancing from Dorian and Bull to Melody on the floor. The men barely seemed to notice as Krem went over to Melody and helped her up, continuing their heated discussion. 

"You alright, miss? Need me to call an ambulance?"

Melody frowned, rubbing her lower back. "I don't think so?" She winced, her hands rubbing up against her back. 

Krem offered her a calm smile. "Right then, Boss's bloke can grab your coat and I'll drive you to go get checked up."

Her frown deepened. "Is that really necessary? It was barely anything."

Dorian rushed to her side, apparently finished with panicking. "Melody! You practically died! I saw you enter the void with my very eyes! We simply MUST get you to the hospital. Immeeediatly!" Okay, not exactly finished panicking. Well, at least Bull would side with her.

Bull did not side with her. Bull full on picked her pregnant ass up and hauled her to Krem's car, bridal style.

Melody eventually gave up the fight and sighed, rolling her eyes. It seemed her collection of over dramatic men was only growing. 

* * *

 

Melody's pout got worse, if that was possible. "Dorian, stop rubbing my stomach!" she snapped at her boss, who had been frantically trying to "comfort" her.

"Well, I had heard that pregnant women became easily irate, but way to prove a stereotype Melody." 

Melody turned her head towards the roof, praying for some kind of god to smite their car and end her suffering. 

Dorian sniffed, seeming offended by her lack of response. He faced forward, blushing when he made eye contact with Bull in the rear view mirror. He frowned, looking out the window instead. No one spoke, other than Krem's cheery whistling from the drivers seat. This had to be the most awkward car ride of his life, and he had ridden home nearly naked on a bus after a particularly memorable New Year's party. At least it would be easier when they got to the actual hospital. 

* * *

 

It did not get easier. It got worse. The four of them were seated in the waiting room, waiting for Melody's name to get called.

Bull was staring blankly at Dorian, who was looking up at the ceiling pretending not to notice. Melody was texting Solas, using her phone to escape the awkward like the traitor she was. The only person who seemed happy to be there was Krem, who occasionally broke the silence with one liners, not seeming bothered by the lack of response from his companions. He would glance between Dorian and Bull every once in a while, always slipping into a knowing grin afterwards. Dorian sighed, and reverted to his favorite past time.

Bothering Melody.

He poked her arm.

"Who're you texting?"

Melody grunted. "Solas. Just like I was five minutes ago when you asked, and five minutes before that." 

Dorian huffed. "What does the egghead have that I don't? He isn't even here."

She hesitated. "He doesn't know I'm here."

Dorian gasped, faking surprise. "What? Well, we simply must update the poor man."

Melody's head swiveled towards him. "Don't. You. Dare."

Dorian pulled out his own phone, pulling up the messenger app. 

Dammit. Dorian always acted out when he was bored. It was best just to ignore him.

"Annnnd, send."

Annnd yeah right. Like he'd actually do it. She looked down at her phone's vibration.

**You're in the hospital??**

She smacked Dorian's bicep. "You actually sent it? What even, Dorian?"

He stuck his tongue out at her. It wasn't like it mattered. Solas would end up finding out about this trip later, so why not now? Besides, his presence would help Melody, not to mention how entertaining it was to watch the two dance around each other. 

He glanced over at her screen.

**Ya but im fine. chill. just fell. nbd.**

**Are you sure? I could come over there.**

**im f i n e**

**I'm coming over there.**

**ur acting crazy.**

**I'll lend you Sera for a week.**

**idc**

**I'll lend you Sera for two weeks.**

**so?**

**One and a half.**

**unfair.**

**Two weeks. Deal or no deal?**

**ill take the deal!**

**I'm on my way.**

**:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is so hard! Anyways, here's a chapter. It's from Dagna's point of view this time. It feels a bit short since I used longer paragraphs, but I have an early class tomorrow and not much time to write now!  
> xoxo Thanks for reading! I'm so touched by all the support I've been getting :)

Dagna sighed as she fast walked across the hallway. She was in the home stretch of her 16 hour shift, but she wasn't getting any of the last lap energy boost. Andraste knows her feet felt the pain from every step she'd taken in the last day. The only good news was that she had the _possibility_ of having tomorrow off, what with her only being on call. Of course, she'd probably get called in anyways, but the idea of not coming in was the only thing keeping her from quitting at this point. Well, that and the whole things-cost-money thing. 

Deep Breaths, Dagna.

"Hey, shortie! The patient in 305 pissed all over the floor again!"

Deep. Breaths.

The male nurse had to know she wasn't a janitor; she was wearing pink scrubs for makers sake. Still, the staff tended to see not human and assume they'd just do any dirty work, no questions asked. At least this time she knew enough to realize she wasn't some third year's bitch. The first few months of her job had been...interesting. It wasn't until Cassandra walked in on her picking up trash instead of taking blood pressure that she found out she really didn't have to pick up after everyone and do the giants's bidding.

The nurse called after her again, telling her she-was-going-the-wrong-way-305-is-that-way-hey-lady-didn't-you-hear-me-wow-bitch-fine.

Dagna kept walking towards the elevator, away from the asshole behind her. She'd rather be  _a_ bitch than  _someone's_ bitch.

* * *

 

It wasn't until she got to the waiting room that she perked up, spotting her favorite patient surrounded by...oh wow, that was a fun group. It took a minute for her to realize that it probably wasn't actually a good thing for Melody to be there, seeing as she hadn't seen her name on the list of official appointments. Still, her presence certainly broke up the monotony of her day. 

Melody had been coming in to Cassandra for months; she'd apparently taken a liking to the no nonsense woman and chosen her as her OBGYN. She'd quickly become attached to Dagna, and vice versa. 

Weird, though. Dagna had scanned the group that seemed to be waiting with her, and Solas wasn't one of them. The elf had come to pretty much all of Melody's appointments; at one point Dagna had almost expected him to rip the prescription pad out of Cassandra's hands and decide what pre-natals his "Just A Friend" should be taking on his own.

She looked towards the door, spotting movement out of the corner of her eye. Nope, there he was, running in and looking pretty crazed. Damn, maybe she should ask him for tips- if she could master that hot mess look of his maybe the picky patients would leave her alone. As it was now she apparently released an aura of competence or whatever, and they always seemed to go after her. 

Anyways, Solas was running in like he was a druggie chasing after a floating bag of lyrium. It was pretty cute once you got past the crazy eyes, the way he was so into Melody. She seemed to be just as into him, but in a more low key way? Less visible, maybe, but still. The subtext was there. Hopefully they got together soon. Just...not  _too_ soon. After all, Cassandra had bet they'd be an item after they saw a clear sonogram of the baby, while Dagna had gone for right after the baby was born. And she sure as hell didn't want to do all the paperwork she'd promised Cassandra if she lost.

By the way Solas was hugging Melody, though, it looked like she might have to say goodbye to her free time. Damn. If they bonded over their worry...Agh. She really hated paperwork. Maybe if she just...

It was with a mischievous feeling that she casually strode over to the information desk and propped against the counter.

"Hey Cole!"

The blonde blinked at her. "Oh, hello Dagna. You look tired. You should sit down."

Dagna sighed, flashing him her best down trodden look. "Well, you see I'd really like to, but I just can't."

"You can't? Why not?" 

The dwarf let her eyes ever so casually drift over towards where Melody waited. "It's just that poor elf. Pregnant, you know. Real excited about it. That is, until..."

Cole followed her gaze, always one for a sob story. "Until what?"

Dagna paused, pretending to be unsure about spilling the beans, but actually trying to come up with a reason for Melody to be there.

"Until...She, uh, found out about her dear father."

Cole frowned. "Her father?" 

"Yes, he was...diagnosed with cancer. Her mom too."  _Damnit, too much! Don't go overboard!_

It seemed to do the trick, despite sounding pretty Days of Our Lives. Cole gasped, raising his hand to cover his mouth.

Seeing it as the moment to strike, Dagna rushed on before he could speak. "She came in today to see if the baby could be delivered safely before her parents pass. There isn't much time though, and the longer she waits, well...her parent's are living moment to moment now."

Cole snivelled. "That's h-horrible."

Dagna sighed. "Yeah it's a pity...and after all that she has to wait who knows how long because she didn't make an appointment. Too distracted by everything. All her dreams of her parents meeting her first child...just crushed by bureaucracy."

Cole wiped his tears from his face, turning towards his keyboard and typing frantically. "Well, We'll j-just have to fix that! I can help! H-here..." He was nearly sobbing now, touched by Melody's 'story'. "Now she has an appointment. With Josephine..."

Dagna grinned. Yes! And Cassandra wasn't here to encourage any touchy-feely nonsense! "Thanks Cole. You really do too much for the people." She barely managed to control her grin when she went to tell Melody the doctor was ready for her. 

Her companions, however, gestured for Solas to go with her. They'd wait there, they said, and stay out of the way. Shit. What if they bonded in the room? Maker's balls. 

Still, there wasn't much she could do at this point. She told the two elves to follow her, and quickly herded them past the desk where Cole stood, tears streaming down his face as he whispered "You're so brave," to Melody. Welp. 

Melody hesitated, turning back towards him. "Is that boy okay?"

Dagna cleared her throat. "He's fine, fine! Just really passionate about pre-natal. Miracle of life and all that." She gestured for them to hasten with her hands. "Come, come, we squeezed you in for an appointment with the only OBGYN here right now, dont want to be late, heh." 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some serious writers block, so I kinda had to force my way through this chapter. Hope it's decent!  
> I am pretty proud that I reached chapter 10 though! <3

The ticking noise coming from the clock was really grating on Melody’s nerves. Each tick seemed to emphasize how long it had been since they’d been dropped off in the room, and every tock pointed out how slow time was passing for the duo as they waited for Dagna to return with the doctor.

She didn’t understand why Dagna had been so hellbent on rushing them into the room if they were just going to wait until the next blight started for the doctor to make an appearance.

Okay, she was moody. But being moody was definitely better than being anxious, and it wasn’t like she didn’t have reason enough to be a little pissed.

After all, she was waiting to find out if her baby was dead or deformed because of her own clumsiness.

She glanced over at Solas next to her, who was furiously texting. She leaned closer to snoop at the screen, and cringed a little. Poor Sera. She either really needs the job, or Solas pays well.

Melody bumped his shoulder, trying to catch his attention. “Solassss,” she whined, “What’s taking so long?”

Solas sighed. “As I have stated before, I wouldn’t know any more than you. Perhaps a distraction is in order? Have you decided which day care to register for?”

She frowned. “Day care? You mean like preschool? I won’t need to worry about that for a bit, Dorian said maternity leave was in the contract I signed.”

She was still suspicious about that; she didn’t remember reading anything about that, and her signature on the employment agreement looked a little off. Still, Dorian had insisted, and was adamant that refusing would only insult him. Apparently, though, Solas was the one feeling insulted.

He looked almost scandalized. “You haven’t put any thought into it?”

Melody flicked her hand dismissively. “After the leave is over I can just bring the kid into work, and if it’s a crier or something I’ll just find a teen to watch it.”

Oh, wow. He was giving her his I’m-annoyed-at-you-Melody-but-am-trying-to-be-patient look. Geez, what was the big deal?

“Melody, you have to register for these schools years in advance-or at least any half decent school! If you wait too long on this your child will end up thrust into some under budgeted _public_ institution!”

She patted him on the back. “Breathe, Solas. It isn’t a big deal.”

“Isn’t a big deal- _Isn’t a big deal?!_ Without the proper consideration of-“

He cut off as a frazzled looking young woman was _pushed_ into the room by a beaming Dagna.

“Hey Mel, how's it hanging? Anyways, here's the doc! Well, intern, really, but Pentaghast went home already, so what can you do? Anyways, bye! I've got rounds!" 

The intern looked panicked. She turned after Dagna, grabbing her shirt. "Wait! I've never done an ultrasound! I'm specializing in neuro!"

Dagna chuckled, prying the shaky hands off her scrubs. "You haven't declared it yet, though! C'mon, it's not that hard. You'll be fine."

With one last wave the dwarf cheerily sped out of the room, ignoring the cries of the intern, who eventually turned to face the two elves when Solas cleared his throat.

"Right," she said, over emphasizing her words and directing her gaze slightly above the two, "How About You Get Up On This Table Chair Thingy?"

Melody sighed.  _Fen Hen'rel's Balls. I would get the weirdo._

The intern spread the gel onto her stomach, before grabbing the machine, muttering what sounded like steps from a textbook under her breath. 

Melody flopped her head back against the seat.  _For the love of..._

The intern started moving the applicator around her stomach. "I-I don't see..."

Solas huffed. "Well, perhaps your time would be better spent finding some one who knew what they were doing!" 

The intern huffed back. "Listen buddy, I got roped into this! Everyone who knows what they're doing already went home- it's not my fault some knif-"

Just then, they heard a cough from the hallway. A white haired elf strode in and gently took the machine from the intern. "I technically clocked out a while ago, but I can do this one. Watch. Learn." He changed the angle of the hand held. "You were holding it wrong. It's like this." He looked up at Melody. "Hey. Listen." He slid it down a few inches, and a steady beating came out through the speakers. "Heartbeat, check it out." He slid it a little to the right, and pointed up at the monitor. "Fetus. Watch." He slid it around a little more, pausing every few seconds to point out the different body parts, "head", a pause, "arms", another pause, this time longer. He squinted up at Melody.

Solas sighed, annoyed with the hospital's incompetent staff yet again.

The elf barely turned his head toward him. "Hush." He refocused his attention on Melody.

"You wanna know the sex?"

Melody stared at him, a bit taken aback by how nonchalantly he had taken over. "Um. Sure, ok."

He nodded, and pointed to a spot on the monitor. "It's a girl."

He clipped the hand held back on the machine, handed the intern some wipes, ordered her to wipe off the gel, and left.

Melody squinted at the intern. "Who was that? I didn't know any elves were doctors here."

The girl flushed, cleaning Melody's abdomen. "That was Fenris. He works in the archives. After he clocks out, though, he wanders around waiting for his boyfriend, Dr.Hawke, to get off work. I have no idea how he knew how to do an ultra sound." She gave Melody a shy smile. "He's sort of a myth around here. He always seems to pop up when you need help. I heard about one girl who swore he saved her from switching twins."

Melody blinked. "Huh. Okay." She turned to face Solas. "Why not, right?" 

Solas stared at her. "Melody? Did you not hear him?"

"What?"

"You're having a daughter!"

"What? Oh, right, cool."

Solas hesitated. "Had you hoped for a boy?"

Melody laughed. "No, I just don't really care. Makes no difference to me what I pop out. Just relieved it's alive." She sighed. "I guess this means I gotta start thinking about names soon. So much effort. I can barely commit to stickers, as it is."

Solas looked like he had sucked on a lemon as he helped her off the table. "I had forgotten how...flippant you can be."

"What? It's not that big of deal! Hey, how about I name her after you?"

Solas nearly felt his legs give out. "You-My-"

"What's the girl version of Solas? Solasa? Hmm, nah too hard to make feminine. Maybe Bull then? Nah..." She glanced at the intern next to her. "Hey! What's your name?"

Solas began pushing her out the door. "You're the most aggravating being I've ever met." 

"Hey! You know you love it!"

He caught himself staring at her. "That I do." He coughed and tore his gaze away, eager to change the subject. "Come, we must update the others on your condition. And after that, we begin."

Melody linked their arms together as they walked down the hallway. "Begin? Begin what?"

He chuckled. "Research! You do not honestly expect me to allow the child to be placed in an institution of poor quality due to your laziness? Hah!"

"This better not get ridiculous."

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol when u don't update for half a year but it's fine bc ur in college and no1 reads this anyway #whoops

It didn't get ridiculous, at least not at first. No, things actually started out...well, great.

Solas would come over to Melody's house after work, usually with some kind of healthy treat, and the two would spend hours poring over internet reviews for things like day cares and playgrounds. On the weekends they'd go shopping together, looking for everything from car seats to cribs. Melody honestly had no idea how much fun looking through the baby aisles could be when you were doing it with your best friend. Every once in a while a sales associate would mistake Solas for the father, which was really awkward at first, but eventually developed into an inside joke over time. 

It wasn't until they started actually taking tours at day cares that things became a bit strained. 

The peppy dwarf showing them around Fereldin Tykes was explaining their nap time schedule when Solas interrupted her with a question.

"A moment, please. You're saying that if the children do not wish to nap they continue playing in the same room as the sleeping children?"

Huh. That's...interesting.

The woman's smile became rather tight as she nodded at the two with a nervous laugh. "Yes, I know it's not exactly ideal, but with the budget cuts we're just a bit short staffed at the moment-if you'll follow me I can show you the excellent reading nook-"

Solas plastered on a fake smile of his own. "That won't be necessary." He looked down at Melody, who stood next to him. "We really have to be going now if we're going to make our next appointment, won't we?"

 _Next appointment? Just how many-Oh! We're lying. Duh._ She wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned some of her weight onto him, tired from all the walking. "Yes, our next appointment." She nodded along emphatically, well aware that she was a terrible liar, cringing at the weird tone her voice always took on.

Solas gave her a strange look, continuing on to thanking the woman for her time before nudging Melody in the direction of where Sera waited with the car. He opened Melody's door before climbing in himself. "Hopefully the next stop on the list will be a bit better than this."

Sera snorted from the drivers seat. "Wha, they beat the kids?"

Solas let out a puff of air. "They seem to lack the staff it would take to control the children, much less beat them."

Melody laid her head back against the seat, agreeing with Solas but lacking the energy to join in a conversation with Sera's...unique energy.

Sera grunted, driving back towards the main road before taking a wrong turn. Melody couldn't help but roll her eyes. If Solas had just let Sera have a day off and taken a cab or driven himself, or let Melody drive, they would have had a much more peaceful afternoon. 

When Sera made yet another wrong turn, Melody pouted and threw an arm over her face. "Sera, where are you going?"

"To the next kiddie creepers, the one with the rainbow sign."

_what in the actual fuck._

Solas sniffed, both annoyed by and used to his assistant. "I told you, we have another appointment. This on is over on-"

 _Oh, hell no._ "Wait, another appointment? We just left the third one of the day! You can't honestly expect me to walk my pregnant ass all the way around another disease pit. I get that the last one was understaffed, but the first two were both fine!"

"Fine? Maybe, if you think broken toys and staff that don't seem to particularly like children are acceptable, but why would you subject your daughter to  _fine?_ These things take time and careful consideration. There's not a lot of-"

In the wake of his lecture, Melody decided to take the mature path and start loudly groaning to drown him out, waiting until he fell silent to risk a peek at him from under her arm, mildly pleased by the straight line his now mercifully silent mouth had formed. "Look, I'm tired. I'm pregnant. Dorian is giving me maternity leave. We don't have to worry about this for months. Can you chill with the obsession? It'll work itself out."

Solas sighed, and she knew he was going to do his 'I'm giving in for  _now_ but expect no mercy in the future' spiel.

And, sure enough, he did.

But it was fine, because at least that meant they could go home. "Hey Sera, I'm hungry. Drive through McDonald's?"

A discontented noise came from her left. "Melody, I seem to remember Dr.Pentaghast outlawing fast food. I will be happy to prepare you something from her recommended list of meals when we return."

Melody gritted her teeth, hating that he was right, and hating even more that he was being so nice that she couldn't yell at him for being right. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol college is the worst. This chapter has caught up to the first chapter, btw. So this is the day after Solas called Melody at the bookstore and told her he was bringing her a shake thingy.

When the cab pulled up to her apartment door, Melody considered running before she remembered she was nearly 7 months pregnant and was rapidly drawing closer to the point of waddling everywhere. She couldn't help that she was excited. Dorian had given her the day off, and she had dedicated it to the pursuit of Cheeseburger.

She'd been craving it exclusively for weeks, but it seemed that every time she came close to it, Solas would somehow sense her pursuit of 'bad for the baby' cuisine and interrupt her. 

_What would really be bad for the baby is if it was born in prison after she was caught strangling Solas with a fast food wrapper._

Anyways, enough was enough. She didn't care how long it took; today, she was getting that cheeseburger. 

She'd prepared accordingly; baseball hat and sunglasses to hide her identity, along with maternity clothes she hadn't worn around Solas. The cab was taking her to the next town over, where she was certain Solas wouldn't be. 

She'd planned to go at lunchtime, when there'd be a rush and she was less likely to be noticed among all the other customers. In case Solas decided to have a healthy meal with her during his lunch hour, she'd texted him that she was going to take a nap after calling the cab. 

She was getting a damn cheeseburger.

As she slid into her cab and gave the driver the address, a smug sense of satisfaction fell over her.  _Take that, you adorable control freak._

* * *

 

"Would you like fries with that?"

The teen dwarf looking over the counter at her dared to doubt her dedication to the pursuit of junk food. Melody'd ordered three cheeseburgers; of course she wanted fries with that. She wanted everything with that. She'd come all the way out here, she was gonna make damn sure she had the full fast food filth experience. 

"Yeah, and a shake too."

She could see the judgement. She didn't care. Nothing could ruin her moment of triumph. Not on this, the day that her dreams were realized.

 "That'll be $12.96." 

Melody shook her head. "No."

The dwarf looked at with the fear felt by every customer service worker when a customer became difficult during a lunch rush. "No?"

"I want the large shake."

* * *

 

She sat down in a booth, as far from any windows as she could be. Hat pulled low over her face, she took the first bite of cheeseburger number one, closing her eyes and savoring it. Blessed be the maker.

As Melody went to take another bite, her pointed ears were assaulted with the sound of douchebaggery. A few human men, dressed in suits, were sitting at the table behind her, loudly laughing over their meals. 

"And then I told him, Scott, you either get me that condo in Orlais or you can kiss your salary goodbye." 

Wait. That voice...

Melody sat frozen in her seat, half bent over the table with a burger held up to her face and the father of her child inches away.

She had to get out of there. Shoving the two unopened burgers into her purse, she rose to her feet as quickly as she could, inhibited by her extended stomach. Bracing one arm against the table, she tried to lift herself up and nearly succeeded when her feet slid out from under her.  She squealed as she started to go down, and flung her arms out to either side in a blind panic. She felt someone grab her under her armpits, stopping her fall. 

"Are you okay m'am?"

FUCKING DAMNIT SHIT FUCK OF COURSE

She kept her head down, nodding and making an "mhmm" noise in a fake voice. 

"Oh, good. Here, let me help you up."

Melody looked up at him, seeing no point in keeping up the charade now that he was sure to recognize her at some point. Well, maybe he'd forgotten about her.

He instantly gasped. "Melody?! I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Well, shit on a sandwich.

* * *

 

He insisted on talking to her, making an excuse she didn't hear to his friends before dragging her over to a table on the other side of the restaurant. Once they were both seated, he simply stared at her and allowed an awkward silence to hang over the two. She kept her face neutral, not knowing what to do. Last time hadn't worked out so well. Finally, he broke the silence. 

"I've done some thinking since we last spoke."

She raised an eyebrow. She wasn't aware he was capable.

"I'm ready to be a father."

She couldn't help the indignant laugh that escaped her. Seriously? "You didn't seem so keen the last time we talked about this. You know, when you screamed at the  _elf_ you knocked up."

"I know, and I'm sorry. That was completely inappropriate of me. I grew up with some serious prejudices, but I've been thinking about it a lot, obsessing really, and I can't let my child grow up without me."

 Well then. If this was genuine, this could make things a lot easier.  _If_ it was genuine. "Oh yeah? That a proposal?"

He laughed. "No, nothing like that. We barely know each other, after all. I don't even know what you do for a living."

She rolled her eyes. "I work at Skyhold, the book store."

He nodded. "I've been in there a few times. It's right by the bar we met in, right?"

She offered him a tight smile. "Yes, that's right."

"My family has a business; named for my grandfather. Say, where do you live? This is a bit aways from Skyhold. I was only in town that night for a business deal."

She gave him the name of her building, and he grimaced. Probably because it wasn't a billion dollar penthouse. 

She shot him a look. Judgmental bastard. "Yeah, I can see you've really changed. I don't think this is going to work out very well between us."

He chuckled. "Melody, I have no illusions of grandeur. I'm not in love with you. That's not why I've been trying to find you. I don't think we'd make each other very happy."

"Then why the change of heart? Plenty of children grow up without a father. "

"I know, but that doesn't mean our son has to. He needs a strong role model, someone to raise him right. To make sure he's a success. To carry on the family name."

She narrowed her eyes. "It's a girl."

He furrowed his brows, looking confused for a second before brightening. "Then it's even more important that I'm involved. After all, we don't want her to repeat her mother's mistakes."

I...what?! "Mistakes? What mistakes?"

"Well, it's not like unplanned pregnancy is a goal. Plus, who knows if she'd be fortunate to have the father be as good as me."

Wow. WOW. Way to play the blame game. "You think  _you're the superior parent?_ "

"Well, I mean, yes. I have a stable job in my family's company, the position of CEO will be passed down to me, and I'm a better influence. I'll keep her on the right side of life."

"You mean the human side, don't you?"

He shrugged. "I won't deny it. We both know it's true. There's no denying her life will be better with her father. And who knows, maybe in a few years I'll fall in love and she'll have a mother as well."

Melody inhaled. "She has a mother. Me."

He rubbed the back of his neck, seeming uncomfortable. "Yes, about that. I want my daughter to embrace her human heritage-in order to make sure of that, you'd have to be out of the picture." 

Melody began to stand. "This is ridiculous."

He grabbed her hand, stopping her. "Wait. Hear me out, please."

She sat back down, curious about how much worse this could get. 

"Thanks. So, I'd want you to sign away your parental rights." He held up a hand to stop her when she started to interrupt. "You would profit from this, don't worry. I'd compensate you heavily; monthly deposits into your account. Say, $50,000? You live a comfortable life, and our child's future ensured."

"But I'd have to give up my child-"

"I'd update you on her periodically. Photos, videos, descriptions about her development. I'm a reasonable man."

Reasonable? This whole thing was ridiculous. And yet...

"I'm sure you have dreams, Melody. Dreams you can't accomplish with a child depending on you. But you'll be free, and you'll be rich. You can do whatever your heart desires."

That does sound awfully good...she rested her chin on the back of her hand, considering. 

"But how do I know that you'll take care of her? That you'll love her?"

He reached across the table, taking her hand in his. "Melody, I'm not a monster. I know we have different values, but how could a man not love his child?"

She swallowed. "I'm going to have to think about this."

He smiled at her, nodding. "I understand." He pulled a pen out of his suit pocket, writing his number on a napkin and handing it to her. "Give me a call when you've decided." 

She nodded, folding the napkin and placing it in her purse. 

He got up to leave before turning back around to face her. "And Melody? My peaceful offer won't stand forever. I can't raise my daughter if she's been indoctrinated into elvish ways. Call me in the next week, or I'll see you in court." He leaned down to whisper in her ear. "And I can promise you, my attorneys will stop at nothing to place the child in my arms. I know where you live, where you work. There's no escaping me."

She stared up at him in abject horror. "What, so I give her to you or you'll take her?"

He smiled, but there was a thick layer condescension behind it. "I think you'll find the first option much more agreeable. If we decide this in court, I offer no financial support or updates on her."

He left, and took her good mood with him, but left his pen on the table. She reached for it, turning it to read the name of the business on the side.

_The Corypheus Corporation._

Well, he may be the heir to some big business, but she wouldn't let that trust fund baby get his hands on her child. She pulled out her phone, quickly dialing Solas's number. 

"We need to talk."

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I forgot I was writing this until accounting class got real boring.

Not being able to drink definitely wasn’t the hardest part about the whole pregnancy situation, but it sure was up there. Melody loved hanging out with Bull, but his workaholic attitude equated to him spending most of his time in a bar, which Melody tried to avoid at seven months pregnant for a variety of reasons.

When Dorian had demanded that she tag along to brunch with them, she didn’t really fight him on it, despite knowing that she would be third wheeling it. It’d been some time since she was able to spend some time with the Iron Bull, and although she saw Dorian at work or at one of their houses nearly every day, it was always nice to see him.

Still, she couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward watching them pretend to not be absolutely in love with each other. She found herself looking around the large patio their table was in, watching the different groups until Dorian started poking her for her attention.

“Melody, I asked you a question!”

“Sorry. What was that?”

Dorian rolled his eyes, flamboyantly flipping his hair. “Honestly, woman! If you hadn’t always been this way I would blame your lack of attention on that fabulous thing you’re growing. What did Solas say you should do about what’s his face?”

Bull grinned as he leaned forward, his chair groaning under the movement. “I say you just let me and some of my staff pay him a visit.”

She laughed, imagining the scene with glee. Sadly, it probably wouldn’t end very well. “As much as I’d enjoy that, I’m gonna have to say no.” Shaking her head, she took a sip of her tea. “Solas told me to just let his lawyers handle it. I’m not supposed to talk to anyone about it or try to confront the guy. Apparently, my chances are really good since most courts are still partial to the mother.”

“Ha! As if any judge would choose the sociopath,” Dorian laughed. “He basically tried to pay you off and then threatened you! That ass won’t get anywhere near the baby.”

Bull grunted. “Isn’t he like, super rich though?”

At Melody’s dull glare Dorian punched Bull’s shoulder. “There’s no need to stress out the pregnant lady.”

Bull rolled his eyes, not even pretending to have felt any pain from the impact. “What? I’m being honest. How’s she supposed to compete with a trust fund baby as a retail worker?”

She sighed, hunching forward. “What am I supposed to do? Who’s gonna hire someone about to go on maternity leave? Besides, my degree is in english. I don’t even know what I would do if I didn’t work at the bookstore.”

Bull looked her over, considering her options. “What about publishing?”

“Do you even know how hard it is to get into publishing?”

Bull scoffed, and even Dorian huffed.

“What?” She snapped.

This time it was Dorian who poked the beast. “Hellooo, Thedas to Melody, who do we know in publishing? Tall, broad, and egg shaped? Ring any bells?”

“I couldn’t ask solas for something like that…” She began, trailing off when she was faced with two vastly unimpressed expressions.

Dorian interrupted her continued rambling, waving a hand as if to brush off her concerns. “Melody, the elf is head over heels for you. If you asked him to do anything we all know he wouldn’t even stop to ask you why.”

Choosing to ignore the more...interesting claims he’d made, Melody continued to protest asking for help from a new angle. “He’s already doing so much for me- the day care, the lawyers, doctor’s appointments, not to mention all the damn healthy ‘food!’ There is no way I’d ever ask him to risk his reputation by recommending some woman with no experience-” 

She broke off, hearing her voice break and feeling the angry tears welling up in her eyes. Anger at them for pushing her to ask for yet more charity, and more than anything, anger at herself. She was becoming increasingly more dependent on Solas, taking and taking with nothing to offer in return.

Bull plopped one of his giant hands on her shoulder, wrapping her in a one armed hug from across the table. “Hey, you know it’s not like that. He’s your best friend-shut up Dorian-you’d do the same, if not more, if he was pregnant and single.”

She laughed at the ridiculousness, wiping away her tears. “That’s not- I can’t-” She could barely hear herself speak over Dorian’s laughter, noting the stares from surrounding tables directed towards the tevinter. But she couldn’t help joining in as she pictured Solas, heavily pregnant, still wearing 3 piece suits and petulantly drinking kale smoothies. Bull  _ was  _ right though, she couldn’t imagine not helping Solas if whatever alien that knocked him up happened to be a deadbeat. 

“Still though, I don’t want to take advantage of him. And I think it really will be okay; there’s not much Samson can do legally.”

* * *

 

Locking her apartment door behind her, Melody waddled over to her couch, dropping the bags with her different purchases on the coffee table to be dealt with later. The guys had insisted on dragging her to store after store, a combination of baby stores and random boutiques they happened to pass. Melody’s favorite had been the homemade soap store; she couldn’t wait to try out the peppermint elf root body scrub. The owner had sworn it was the only thing that had relieved her foot pain during all three of her pregnancies. 

Using both her hands to push herself up, Melody retrieved the small jar and made her way to the shower, figuring she may as well take advantage of a rare day off to try it on the off chance she broke out in hives.

* * *

 

Turning off the water, Melody wrapped herself in a towel before carefully stepping out of the tub and making her way to her closet. After pulling on her favorite shirt and leggings combo she went to grab her phone off her night stand she heard the creak of the front door opening. Assuming it was Solas using his key on a late lunch break, she opened the door to her room and started to call out a greeting when she heard a voice that definitely wasn’t the elf’s.

“Are you sure she isn’t here?” 

“The PI said she always works Tuesday mornings. Stop freaking out so we can get this done sooner.” 

Melody froze, a shiver of fear running through her. Desperately looking around her room, she sought out a hiding spot as the sound of footsteps got closer. She could hear them rooting around her rooms, probably robbing her. From inside her room there was no way to tell. Her eyes landed on her window, but she quickly moved on. A few years ago she would have been able to easily climb down the outer wall, but seven months pregnant? There was no way. Deciding on the most obvious option, the closet, she dashed into it faster than she thought possible. It was just as she closed the doors, sealing herself in darkness, that she remembered her phone, sitting out of reach on her night stand. 

_ Do I risk it? _

Her decision was made for her when she heard one of the men call out, “I found her room! Bring the stuff!”

Another voice answered back, “Keep it down, the neighbors’ll hear you.”

And a third voice, “Like anyone in this shithole would care.” 

The voices were getting closer, presumably as they joined their accomplice in Melody’s room. 

“Boss, her phone is here.”

_ Shit. _

“Do you think she’s-”

“The shower is wet.”

_ Shit. _

The room went silent. Melody held her breath.

Foot steps. 

A hand on the other side of the door.

She steeled herself.

Suddenly she was bathed in light as the door was wrenched open, exposing her to the masked men in front of her. Rough hands grabbed her, and someone briefly covered her mouth with their hand to muffle her screams as they dragged her out of the closet. 

Not knowing what to do, Melody went limp in their arms, sinking to the floor.  _ Dead weight bitches. _

The man struggling to hoist her up grunted angrily.

“Help me carry her!”

“Dude, what?! Why would we carry her?”

“She wasn’t supposed to be here-let’s take her to the boss!”

“I dont think that’s a good idea…”

As the men argued amongst themselves Melody shifted in the first man’s grip, before throwing her head back and howling.

The man cried out “This bitch pissed on me!” 

Melody turned to glare up at him. “My water broke!”

He released her and looked to his accomplices. “What do we do man?!”

Melody moaned from the floor, wrapping her arms around her stomach. “Dread wolf take you! Take me to the damn hospital!”

“But the boss’ll-”

The other man shot him an incredulous look and cut him off. “John, are you fucking crazy? This chick is about to push a baby out of her vagina. You know how to deliver a baby?! This is so above our paygrade.”

John paled under his mask. “You said my name, Bro!!”

The third man rolled his eyes. “Do you know how many Johns there are in this town? Do you?”

Melody moaned from the floor again.

The second man wrapped one of Melody’s arms around his shoulders and started towards the door. “Get the car keys John!”

Melody screamed back to him, “And my purse!”

* * *

 

The car pulled up to the emergency room, where John and one of the other men helped Melody through the doors and up to the front desk. 

The nurse fixed the two masked men with frightened stare, and Melody answered her unspoken question. “Hi. These men broke into my apartment and tried to kidnap me so I peed on them and pretended I was giving birth. Could you call the cops?”

The nurse turned and shouted “Louis! John! We have a situation!” into the area behind her, from which two men emerged.

At the same time, the masked John and his partner took off towards the exit. “I told you that bitch peed on me!”

“Yeah, well I told you there are too many fucking Johns in this town!”

The two nurses chased after them. One ran outside and jumped into the car that then drove off, leaving John behind after he was tackled by Nurse John.

* * *

 

Melody waited on the bed in the hospital room they’d stuck her in with promises to examine her baby, even though she’d assured them nothing had actually happened to her. All things considered, the men would have really been pretty helpful had she actually gone into labor. So why wasn’t anyone listening to her? She’d insisted that she could speak with the police immediately, but the nurses had simply handed her a hospital gown to replace her ruined leggings and directed her into the room. They’d offered to call someone for her, and since she didn’t have anyone’s number memorized, that left her emergency contact. Solas.

Well, he was definitely gonna flip his shit. Poor Sera. She really needed to send the elf a fruit basket or something. Flowers, a card.  _ Sorry your boss is like this.  _

A sweet voice broke her out of her thoughts. “Melody?”

She glanced up, eyes landing on the dwarf in the door. “Dagna?”

Dagna put a hand over her heart. “Oh thank the maker! I heard the nurses talking about a red headed pregnant elf that peed on her kidnappers, and I thought it just  _ had  _ to be you, but then I couldn’t get away because Cassandra-I mean Dr. Pentaghast- insisted she really needed those lab reports,” she sternly pointed her fingers with each word here, “I told her, I told her-” she shrugged, “Well, really I told her I was going to get them and then came here instead.” She crossed the room, wrapping Melody in a hug. “And you’re okay! And-” she wrinkled her nose. “Has anyone told you you smell like-well, I don’t mean to be offensive, but-”

Melody stared down at her. “Pee?”

“Exactly! Of course, it was genius what you did, peeing on your attackers and all, but-”

A scruffy doctor walked into the room. “Dagna? Dr. Pentaghast paged you. Something about a lab report and shoving a stethoscope into a-”

“Bye Melody!” Dagna called, leaving her with a “Glad you’re okay!”

The doctor winked at Melody. “Don’t worry, I lied. Dagna’s too sweet for me to tell her to shut up, but I really needed her to shut up.”

He crossed the room, pulling out a flashlight and shining it into her eyes. “Follow my finger. I’m Dr. Garrett Hawke. I understand you had a bit of a scare. Are you feeling any pain?”

“No. Is my baby okay?”

He dropped the light into the pocket of his white coat. “The lack of pain is a good sign, but if you’ll lie down on the bed and expose your stomach, I can check for you.” 

She stared at him as he turned towards an ultrasound doohickey. “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He frowned, before rummaging around in a cabinet and pulling out a clean sheet. “Here we go!” 

* * *

 

Dr.Hawke handed her a wipe to clean off her stomach, tossing his gloves in the trash. “Great! Well, let me know if you do experience any discomfort. Try to avoid getting almost kidnapped again-stress isn’t very good for babies, of course. I’ll send in the officer to speak with you.”

Melody let her head thump back against the bed after she pulled her gown back down. Would this day ever end?

A cough at the door alerted her to the presence of the blonde cop. She groaned internally.  _ Great. Another human to bother me. At least he’s cute.  _ “Yes?”

He crossed the room, coming over to shake her hand. “Hello ma’am, I’m Officer Rutherford.” He held up his clipboard. “Would you mind taking me through what happened to you today?” 

* * *

 

Solas came in near the tail end of their conversation, rushing into the room and gripping her hands like a panicked gopher. “Melody, I-”

“Shhhh. It’s all good dude. Give me a sec.” She held up a finger, and nodded to Officer Rutherford. “Go on, Officer Handsome.”

Rutherford blinked. “I-that is-ahem. I think I have everything we need here. We’ve still got officers at the scene-your house. I don’t recommend you go back there until we’ve gotten to the bottom of this.” His blush faded and he looked at her with genuine concern. “Is there somewhere you can stay in the meantime once you’re released?”

Solas cleared his throat, sounding a lot more composed. “With me, of course.”

Melody shot him her best unimpressed look. “Excuse you, cave-elf, I think he was talking to me.” 

It was Solas’s turn to blush, though it was unclear to her if it was embarrassment or annoyance motivating it.

She focused on the cop. “I’ll be staying with Solas.”

Solas huffed, and Officer Rutherford wrinkled his brow. “Right. Well, don’t hesitate to call if there’s anything else.” He shook her hand again and left. 

She looked up at Solas. “I peed on a man today.”

He looked down at her, straight faced. “I heard.” 

She scooted over and patted the bed next to her, letting him wrap his arms around her after he crawled in next to her. She laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes, feeling at peace for the first time all day.

“Melody?”

“Mmmm?”

“I don’t mean to be insensitive, but you smell like urine.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “And I’m not wearing any underwear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update for literally 3 days under a year, but one day I'll finish this! (Hopefully soon!)


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